Judgment vs Connection:
Exploring Privilege in NVC Circles

As one of the few African-American NVC trainers in the country, I hear two arguments over and over:

• Pure NVC does not use labels, and the word 'privilege' is a label. We're not living in NVC consciousness if we use that word, so get to the observation.
• Privilege exists and it's real. If you NVC folks can't talk about privilege and call it what it is, then you're just selling another tool designed to shut up and shut out groups of people who have little to no resources, and keep the people in power happy. Count me out!
  

Either one of these positions is absolutist, elevating a rule or belief above life-in-the-moment.

During this call, we'll explore this debate by looking at our intentions around using the word privilege, and the impact such usage has on the listener. We'll work together to figure out both sides of this debate by discerning what's important to those on each side. We'll see if we can find common ground that will enable us to trust that our goals for connection can ultimately be met with the choiceful use of language.

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