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By Mary Mackenzie, December 26, 2011 11:41 AM

Happy Holidays!  This song / message from John Lennon and Yoko Ono was inspiring and lovely for me to receive.  I hope you enjoy it as well.  It reminds me that peace starts with me and it’s possible if I am committed to it in my life.  It takes true commitment, even a kind of fierceness, to live nonviolently and in such a way that values all needs.

On this day, I say I am committed for one more day to live my value of nonviolence.  I hope you’ll join me.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cJOm72QDDA&feature=related

Warmest Holiday wishes to you,

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, November 22, 2011 3:02 PM

I found the following short video very touching and enlightening.  It helped me feel more connected to the Occupy Movement and to appreciate their efforts.  Take a few minutes to watch it and i hope it will be inspiring to you as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRtc-k6dhgs&feature=share&mid=532910

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By Mary Mackenzie, May 19, 2011 2:40 PM

If you haven’t taken a few moments to look at the NVC Academy’s new NVC Multimedia Library, I would HIGHLY recommend that you do.

The Multimedia Library contains 150+ trainer resources (more will be added on an ongoing basis!) that include:

• Recorded telecourses on a variety of topics
• MP3 and MP4 downloads
• Videotaped trainings
• Trainer Tips for living NVC
• Articles
• eBooks
• Online courses
• And More!

Now, in one place, you can find tips for sharing NVC to others, tips for living NVC, brush up on your NVC skills or simply receive comfort and nurturing from daily reminders of how NVC enhances your life and relationships.

Starting at $15/month, the price can’t be beat.

Please take a few moments to check out the new NVC Multimedia Library and all it has to offer!  I alone have 20 resources in the Library!

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, May 11, 2011 12:23 PM

I have been feeling very sad about the killing of Osama Bin Laden – how it was handled and the joy with which people are responding to it.  I have been doing some personal work of late on forgiveness and atonement and so my way of dealing with the situation is to be honest with myself about what my part is, to take responsibility for my part, to forgive myself, to atone (I don’t have an idea for how to do this yet with regard to this specific situation but I’m praying about it), and especially to not add hatred or judgment to the situation.

It is challenging to understand in an intellectual way that I have a part in something happening thousands of miles away.  And yet, I know that we are all one and interconnected; every action I take has an affect on others.

For me it is imperative that I remember this because it helps me live in greater honesty AND it reminds me that I can take active part in creating a world of peace and mutual respect.  Just by consciously choosing to add love and understanding to the situation (rather than hate or judgment), I am taking clear, positive action toward creating the peaceful world I want to live in.

Does this condone what Osama Bin Laden has done?  No.  Absolutely not.

Does it minimize the pain of people who lost loved ones on 9/11?  No.  I have great compassion and love for each person who experienced loss.

I am merely saying that I don’t think adding further anger and judgment to the situation is helpful.  I truly believe the world needs more love, tenderness and care to heal.  And, so this is what I am focused on providing.

Please join me!

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, May 9, 2011 10:39 AM

I’m very proud to announce the newly launched NVC Multimedia Library Through the NVC Academy.  My business partner, Mark Schultz, and I have spent the last year reorganizing the NVC Academy.

We started by implementing a comprehensive survey that was sent to all 8500 members of the NVC Academy, we studied the results of the survey, and then based on what we heard people asking for, we reorganized the NVC Academy, including creating the NVC Multimedia Library.  It was a labor of love that took 14 months to implement.

Please take a few minutes to check it out!

The NVC Multimedia Library includes (at a starting point!  We’ll continue to add new resources.) 150 resources from 40 trainers from across the globe.  You now have at your finger tips an amazing array of training segments, full recorded telecourses, articles, ebooks and trainer tips – in audio, video or written format. We even offer 3 online courses.

There are countless topics that cover NVC enthusiasts who are just getting started and those with a little or a lot of experience – and everything in between.  No matter what your preferred topic(s) is or your level of NVC experience, you will find many resources in the Multimedia Library.

Look here for my resources in the Multimedia Library:

http://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&layout=generic&tag=Mary%20Mackenzie&task=tag&Itemid=1041

Look here to browse all that the Multimedia Library has to offer:

http://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&layout=category&Itemid=192

Do you have a favorite trainer who you enjoy learning from?  Browse for their resources on the left search engine of the Library called “Browse by Trainer.”

I hope that you’ll agree that the NVC Multimedia Library is exciting and innovative.   Secondly, I hope it will become a valuable resource for you and other NVC enthusiasts from around the world.

Here’s to peace,

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, November 11, 2010 7:42 AM

Neuroscientist Dr. Tania Singer was recently at Stanford University during the Dalai Lama’s visit.  She was interviewed about the definitions and differences between empathy, compassion and courage.  Her definitions are somewhat different than in a traditional NVC model and I enjoyed listening to her responses and pondering how her views matched or disagreed with mine.

As far as empathy, compassion and courage go, I don’t think there are any right/wrong answers and pondering the deeper meaning of all three can indeed expand ones experience of all.  For this reason, I encourage you to listen to what Dr. Singer has to say.

Dr. Tania Singer answers questions about Empathy, Compassion and Courage

Peace to you all,

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, September 21, 2010 12:28 PM

Blame, blame, blame….it is so easy to blame, isn’t it?

I’m discouraged over how automatic and easy it is to blame.  The other day I was driving in an area I didn’t know so I turned on my trusted GPS unit (Daniel) and entered my information.  Daniel was taking more time than usual and so I started out in the direction I suspected was correct.  No sooner had I gotten started when Daniel said in his calm British accent, “Recalculating.”  And I said in a voice louder than I am proud of, “Well, you didn’t tell me where to go!”

Kaboom.  I blamed a computer.  I actually blamed a computer.

Why do we blame others (people or objects)?  I think blame is a habit we engage in to reassure ourselves that we’re okay, good enough or loveable.  Blame and judgment happen so quickly we don’t even notice that we’re doing it most of the time.  And, whenever we blame, two things for sure happen:

1.  We create separation between ourselves and other people.

2.  We usually say something or do something that will prevent us from meeting our needs.

So, today I vow once again to watch my blame and judgments, to have compassion for myself for how habitual this pattern of thinking is, and to consciously choose a different behavior.  How about you?

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By John Kinyon, August 2, 2010 9:53 PM

NVC Mediation Year Long Program Promotional Call 7/1/10

Increase your skills to:

~    Return to presence and connection in the intensity of conflict

~    Facilitate people in conflict hearing each other and connecting

~    Translate judgments into a language of compassion with greater

ease and naturalness

~    Contribute to personal healing/growth for others, and yourself

~    Support people working together to get everyone’s needs met

Mediate multiple dimensions of conflict:

~      Gain powerful skills for helping people resolve conflicts

~      Successfully mediate conflicts in your own life

~      Create peace between warring voices in your own head

~      Lend your skills informally in conflict situations

~      Apply mediation skills to conflict coaching and groups

About the program

At the heart of our program is the conviction that one’s ability to be with conflict and intervene effectively involves learnable skills; and that when applied holistically a person can produce connection and compassionate resolution both internally and externally, formally and informally. The program is a learning community in which you develop the capacity for centeredness and presence in the midst of conflict and the skills to mediate from a language of compassion. Our goal by the end of the program is that you experience confidence and effectiveness responding to all aspects of conflict – within yourself, between yourself and others, and helping others who are in conflict.

The mediation process is based in the language, skills and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg. The program provides an intensive, in-depth experience mediating all types of conflict situations:

• personal and family relationships
• community
• business/organizational

Emphasis is placed on seeing the relationship with conflict as a life practice of returning to presence (i.e. mindful awareness) and mediating from self-connection and clarity of requesting what we’d like to contribute to self and others.

The Immersion Program includes:

• three 5-day intensive residential retreats over a roughly 9 month period
• weekly telephone dyad and triad practice with fellow participants
• individual self-connection and skill-building practices
• monthly joint teleconference sessions over an 11 month period (includes 2 months after the 3^rd retreat to support extension and integration of the training into life goals)

Cost and registration

• Recommended prior NVC experience: A foundations of NVC class/workshop *
• Location: Calistoga, N. California
• Residential Retreat Cost: $600-875 per retreat, depending on type of accommodations you choose
• Request for Tuition/Financial Support for Facilitators and Organizers: $800-1,500 for the Oct. retreat and $2,400-5000 for the year Immersion Program
• For more information on the Oct retreat and Immersion Program:  goto nvcmediation.com or Email nvcmediation@johnkinyon.com or call John Kinyon @ 510-222-5574
• Next promotional telecall with Ike and John will be on Aug 30th at 6:00pm Pacific. To tune in please email johnkinyon@gmail.com for more information or go to nvcmediation.com .

* To get NVC training before the first retreat, let us know and we may be able to arrange training for you.

What is NVC mediation?

This approach focuses on facilitating understanding and connection that leads to the emergence of new possibilities and solutions. NVC mediation supports each side feeling heard to their satisfaction, both in understanding each other’s particular experience and connecting at a universal level of human needs. The process moves from thinking that creates conflict to language that reconnects people to their natural compassion – the enjoyment of contributing to one another’s well being and working together to find mutually beneficial solutions.

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By Mary Mackenzie, July 22, 2010 8:41 AM

This morning I went to the club to swim laps.  I had forgotten my swim suit a couple of days ago and so I asked the desk clerk to look in the lost and found for it.  It wasn’t there and so I said out loud (much to my disappointment), “I can’t believe someone stole my swim suit!”  I went back to the locker room so see if it was there and then went back to the clerk and said, “Is there anyplace else you can check?  I just can’t believe someone would steal my swimsuit.”  He checked a few other places and determined it wasn’t there.

Not having other workout clothes, I couldn’t think of anything else I could do for a workout so I hopped into the Jacuzzi.  While sitting in the Jacuzzi, I started to notice my thinking which went something like this, “I can’t believe someone stole my swimsuit.”  “I’ve been coming here for years and nothing has ever been stolen.”  “I’ve lived in Flagstaff for 20 years and nothing has ever been stolen.” “This used to be such a safe place to live.”

After about 5 minutes I woke up.  Sat straight up in the Jacuzzi and said out loud (fortunately, no one else was around), “Mary, what do you actually know?”  I answered, “That I left my swim suit here on Tuesday and Thursday it wasn’t here.”

I said this to myself a couple of times until I calmed down.  Then, I felt embarrassed of what I had said to the desk clerk and my thoughts in the next several minutes, so I gave myself empathy for wanting to be more conscious, to live without blame, to Live in the Observation.  Deep breath.

To me, Living in the Observation, is a spiritual, moment-to-moment practice.  It requires me to WAKE UP, notice what I’m thinking or saying, and bring myself right back to the observation.  In doing this, I don’t allow myself to linger in the suffering I cause by what I make up about a situation.  In this case, what I made up was that someone stole my swim suit, that Flagstaff wasn’t a safe place anymore, and that my club wasn’t a safe place anymore.  All of those thoughts caused me suffering – self-induced suffering.  When I can bring myself back to what I know “I left my suit at the club on Tuesday and it wasn’t there on Thursday,” I can pull myself out of suffering and relax.

I don’t know what happened to my suit.  Maybe it was stolen.  Maybe it was ruined (because I left it in the sauna to dry) and so someone threw it away, maybe something else.  The point is I don’t actually know what happened to it, so imagining what might have happened to it only causes suffering.  I prefer to Live in the Observation so I can enjoy my life experience more.

Okay, so here’s a bit of gratitude.  The time span from the time I walked into the club and when I woke up in the Jacuzzi was approximately 10 minutes.  I used to live entire years in self-induced suffering.  I am incredibly grateful that I WAKE UP much more quickly now.

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By admin, July 17, 2010 7:41 AM

Filmed at the Mello Center Theater, Watsonville, Ca Friday, July 11, 2008, during the Mello Center’s Season of Nonviolence

Kelly gives a talk about Nonviolent Communication. part 5 of 5.

Also, check out this free audio snippet from Kelly’s audio recording: Love Without Conditions, Control or Coercion through NVC.