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By Mary Mackenzie, April 12, 2012 4:08 PM

Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need …. Really?

The other day, I was in a gathering and I ran into a woman two times.  What I mean is, I looked up and she was right there and we were standing so close that I was startled.  After an hour at this event, I was pulling out of my parking place.  I looked both ways and waited for a car to go by and then pulled out of my parking space and I nearly side-swiped the lady’s car.  The very same lady!

In each case, I apologized and blamed myself.  Then, on my way home, I started to blame her.  Do you ever find yourself ruminating on your judgments and trying to place blame?  Has this behavior ever relieved your anxiety or angst over the situation?  It hasn’t succeeded for me even once, yet I’ve tried it countless times throughout my life and one more time with this lady.

If it’s true that ‘everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need,’ what needs would judgment and blame serve?

Continue reading 'Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice'»

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By Mary Mackenzie, December 26, 2011 11:41 AM

Happy Holidays!  This song / message from John Lennon and Yoko Ono was inspiring and lovely for me to receive.  I hope you enjoy it as well.  It reminds me that peace starts with me and it’s possible if I am committed to it in my life.  It takes true commitment, even a kind of fierceness, to live nonviolently and in such a way that values all needs.

On this day, I say I am committed for one more day to live my value of nonviolence.  I hope you’ll join me.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cJOm72QDDA&feature=related

Warmest Holiday wishes to you,

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, May 19, 2011 2:40 PM

If you haven’t taken a few moments to look at the NVC Academy’s new NVC Multimedia Library, I would HIGHLY recommend that you do.

The Multimedia Library contains 150+ trainer resources (more will be added on an ongoing basis!) that include:

• Recorded telecourses on a variety of topics
• MP3 and MP4 downloads
• Videotaped trainings
• Trainer Tips for living NVC
• Articles
• eBooks
• Online courses
• And More!

Now, in one place, you can find tips for sharing NVC to others, tips for living NVC, brush up on your NVC skills or simply receive comfort and nurturing from daily reminders of how NVC enhances your life and relationships.

Starting at $15/month, the price can’t be beat.

Please take a few moments to check out the new NVC Multimedia Library and all it has to offer!  I alone have 20 resources in the Library!

Mary

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By Mary Mackenzie, May 9, 2011 10:39 AM

I’m very proud to announce the newly launched NVC Multimedia Library Through the NVC Academy.  My business partner, Mark Schultz, and I have spent the last year reorganizing the NVC Academy.

We started by implementing a comprehensive survey that was sent to all 8500 members of the NVC Academy, we studied the results of the survey, and then based on what we heard people asking for, we reorganized the NVC Academy, including creating the NVC Multimedia Library.  It was a labor of love that took 14 months to implement.

Please take a few minutes to check it out!

The NVC Multimedia Library includes (at a starting point!  We’ll continue to add new resources.) 150 resources from 40 trainers from across the globe.  You now have at your finger tips an amazing array of training segments, full recorded telecourses, articles, ebooks and trainer tips – in audio, video or written format. We even offer 3 online courses.

There are countless topics that cover NVC enthusiasts who are just getting started and those with a little or a lot of experience – and everything in between.  No matter what your preferred topic(s) is or your level of NVC experience, you will find many resources in the Multimedia Library.

Look here for my resources in the Multimedia Library:

http://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&layout=generic&tag=Mary%20Mackenzie&task=tag&Itemid=1041

Look here to browse all that the Multimedia Library has to offer:

http://nvctraining.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&layout=category&Itemid=192

Do you have a favorite trainer who you enjoy learning from?  Browse for their resources on the left search engine of the Library called “Browse by Trainer.”

I hope that you’ll agree that the NVC Multimedia Library is exciting and innovative.   Secondly, I hope it will become a valuable resource for you and other NVC enthusiasts from around the world.

Here’s to peace,

Mary

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By Miki Kashtan, February 3, 2011 3:31 PM

with Miki Kashtan, Martha Lasley and many more!

Learn from top professionals and consultants when eight presenters come together to share their experience of using and teaching Nonviolent Communication in the workplace. We’ll explore new tools that provide a framework for addressing organizational challenges collaboratively.

Join us in San Francisco for four days of intensive learning, and discover new practices that enhance partnership, teamwork and productivity.

Each morning will be filled with structured presentations, followed by self-organized, open space in the afternoons.

This conference is for people who work in organizations, whether you’re a business owner, executive, manager, community leader or staff member. We also welcome anyone who wants to empower the workplace, including consultants, coaches, and Nonviolent Communication trainers.

Presenters include Miki Kashtan, Martha Lasley, Gregg Kendrick, Dian Killian, Wes Taylor, Marie Miyashiro, Edmundo Norte, Ulrich Nettesheim.

So think about who to invite and put the dates on your calendar for Making Collaboration Real: Empowering the Workplace with Nonviolent Communication (March 17-20, 2011)!

For more information and to register  www.leadershipthatworks.com/mcr.

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By Miki Kashtan, February 3, 2011 2:45 PM

Friday, March 4th, 2011, 4:30-6:30PM at the First Congregational Church of Oakland

Register

Would you like to become a resource in your community?

This engaging workshop is one fruit of Miki Kashtan’s commitment to transforming the ways we interact with each other and the larger world. People at all skill levels can dive deeply into the world of possibilities that open up with a practice of empathic presence in our communities. This workshop is designed to support you in the following areas:

* capacity to stay present in challenging situations
* ability to reflect your understanding regardless of content
* competence in checking for understanding of deeper meaning of what is shared
* willingness to listen empathically, without trying to solve problems

This workshop is highly interactive and includes exercises using situations volunteered by class participants as material for learning.  Repeated attendance is encouraged, as learning and insights arise freshly each time.
What past participants have said about this workshop:

“For once a seminar leader didn’t try to cram in too much stuff, but instead really committed to her material and ‘let it breathe.’ Very effective!”
~ Floyd Smith

“Miki Kashtan’s class reintroduced me to the value of silence as part of deep listening. The most profound moment came when my partner and I looked into each other’s faces without saying a word. It was both uncomfortable and transformative, and the experience is still with me. I believe this is a vital skill to take into any kind of community building setting, where many people are more focused on giving their opinions than deeply listening to other participants.”
~ Judy Pope

Miki Kashtan, certified NVC trainer, is a founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication and the North America Leadership Program. Miki consults private and public sector organizations, leads NVC workshops and retreats, and facilitates conferences around the world. . She also hosts a monthly call-in television show, The Conflict Hotline, which is viewable through http://bit.ly/conflict-hotline. She holds a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of California at Berkeley. You can read her writings at baynvc.blogspot.com.
10-minute video interview of Miki Kashtan discussing empathy.

Comments (1)

By Mary Mackenzie, September 21, 2010 12:28 PM

Blame, blame, blame….it is so easy to blame, isn’t it?

I’m discouraged over how automatic and easy it is to blame.  The other day I was driving in an area I didn’t know so I turned on my trusted GPS unit (Daniel) and entered my information.  Daniel was taking more time than usual and so I started out in the direction I suspected was correct.  No sooner had I gotten started when Daniel said in his calm British accent, “Recalculating.”  And I said in a voice louder than I am proud of, “Well, you didn’t tell me where to go!”

Kaboom.  I blamed a computer.  I actually blamed a computer.

Why do we blame others (people or objects)?  I think blame is a habit we engage in to reassure ourselves that we’re okay, good enough or loveable.  Blame and judgment happen so quickly we don’t even notice that we’re doing it most of the time.  And, whenever we blame, two things for sure happen:

1.  We create separation between ourselves and other people.

2.  We usually say something or do something that will prevent us from meeting our needs.

So, today I vow once again to watch my blame and judgments, to have compassion for myself for how habitual this pattern of thinking is, and to consciously choose a different behavior.  How about you?

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By John Kinyon, August 2, 2010 9:53 PM

NVC Mediation Year Long Program Promotional Call 7/1/10

Increase your skills to:

~    Return to presence and connection in the intensity of conflict

~    Facilitate people in conflict hearing each other and connecting

~    Translate judgments into a language of compassion with greater

ease and naturalness

~    Contribute to personal healing/growth for others, and yourself

~    Support people working together to get everyone’s needs met

Mediate multiple dimensions of conflict:

~      Gain powerful skills for helping people resolve conflicts

~      Successfully mediate conflicts in your own life

~      Create peace between warring voices in your own head

~      Lend your skills informally in conflict situations

~      Apply mediation skills to conflict coaching and groups

About the program

At the heart of our program is the conviction that one’s ability to be with conflict and intervene effectively involves learnable skills; and that when applied holistically a person can produce connection and compassionate resolution both internally and externally, formally and informally. The program is a learning community in which you develop the capacity for centeredness and presence in the midst of conflict and the skills to mediate from a language of compassion. Our goal by the end of the program is that you experience confidence and effectiveness responding to all aspects of conflict – within yourself, between yourself and others, and helping others who are in conflict.

The mediation process is based in the language, skills and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg. The program provides an intensive, in-depth experience mediating all types of conflict situations:

• personal and family relationships
• community
• business/organizational

Emphasis is placed on seeing the relationship with conflict as a life practice of returning to presence (i.e. mindful awareness) and mediating from self-connection and clarity of requesting what we’d like to contribute to self and others.

The Immersion Program includes:

• three 5-day intensive residential retreats over a roughly 9 month period
• weekly telephone dyad and triad practice with fellow participants
• individual self-connection and skill-building practices
• monthly joint teleconference sessions over an 11 month period (includes 2 months after the 3^rd retreat to support extension and integration of the training into life goals)

Cost and registration

• Recommended prior NVC experience: A foundations of NVC class/workshop *
• Location: Calistoga, N. California
• Residential Retreat Cost: $600-875 per retreat, depending on type of accommodations you choose
• Request for Tuition/Financial Support for Facilitators and Organizers: $800-1,500 for the Oct. retreat and $2,400-5000 for the year Immersion Program
• For more information on the Oct retreat and Immersion Program:  goto nvcmediation.com or Email nvcmediation@johnkinyon.com or call John Kinyon @ 510-222-5574
• Next promotional telecall with Ike and John will be on Aug 30th at 6:00pm Pacific. To tune in please email johnkinyon@gmail.com for more information or go to nvcmediation.com .

* To get NVC training before the first retreat, let us know and we may be able to arrange training for you.

What is NVC mediation?

This approach focuses on facilitating understanding and connection that leads to the emergence of new possibilities and solutions. NVC mediation supports each side feeling heard to their satisfaction, both in understanding each other’s particular experience and connecting at a universal level of human needs. The process moves from thinking that creates conflict to language that reconnects people to their natural compassion – the enjoyment of contributing to one another’s well being and working together to find mutually beneficial solutions.

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By admin, July 17, 2010 7:41 AM

Filmed at the Mello Center Theater, Watsonville, Ca Friday, July 11, 2008, during the Mello Center’s Season of Nonviolence

Kelly gives a talk about Nonviolent Communication. part 5 of 5.

Also, check out this free audio snippet from Kelly’s audio recording: Love Without Conditions, Control or Coercion through NVC.