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We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

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When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.

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Introductory Skill Level

Video

3 minutes

A theory of judgment is that it is how we make sense of life and quickly assess what is safe or not safe. However, this has somehow been translated into right/wrong thinking. In this video, Aya explores different kinds of judgments and examples of each.

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Beginner Skill Level

Video

5 minutes

So many conversations get stuck when there are differences in opinions. Most people tend to try to convince the other person or withdraw from the conversation entirely. In this clip, Yoram discusses how you can go behind the opinions in order to see the needs of the human being.

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Intermediate Skill Level

Video

8.5 minutes

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience, no matter what is going on externally. The moment you imply wrongness on others, you give power to them. In this excerpt, Aya Caspi shows that the more self-responsibility you take, the more freedom you will have.  

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Beginner Skill Level

Video

5 minutes

There is more to the NVC skill of Observation than the external level of what a video camera sees or hears. In this video, Roxy Manning demonstrates that to fully understand what is happening, we need to know all three layers of observation: External, Internal, and Systemic. 

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Beginner Skill Level

Video

14 minutes

Yoram shares about the importance of honesty (what is actually going on in you) and the dilemma of honesty (should I say it or should I not). Watch Yoram demonstrate the difference between expressing our honest judgments (I will be really honest with you, you are...) and expressing radical authenticity (describing our own authenticity). Peeling back the layers of authenticity leads to a message of care for self or for another.

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Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

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Beginner Skill Level

Audio

3 minutes

When you experience an emotion, your body send a message to your brain that lights up the amygdala. Then what? Listen as Sarah Peyton demonstrates the NVC practice of Naming the Feeling and Need, which calms the amygdala and enables you to move into relational space.

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Roxy Manning discusses the need to expand our understanding of observations within Nonviolent Communication (NVC). She challenges the idea of objective observation, noting its limitations, and introduces internal observations, citing personal experiences to illustrate their influence on emotions and self-perception. Additionally, she emphasizes systemic awareness as a crucial aspect of observation, highlighting its importance in understanding broader societal issues. Overall, Roxy advocates for a comprehensive approach to observations in NVC, incorporating external, internal, and systemic perspectives to foster inclusivity and empathy...

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