Free NVC Learning Resources

From a Nonviolent Communication (NVC) perspective, expressing vulnerabilities by labeling someone as selfish can create disconnection and conflict. Instead of fostering understanding and support, this type of communication often leads to misunderstanding and defensive reactions. Yoram Mosenzon demonstrates how expressing feelings and needs clearly and without judgment facilitates empathy and mutual understanding. This allows for genuine connection and the possibility of finding mutually satisfying solutions.

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.

A theory of judgment is that it is how we make sense of life and quickly assess what is safe or not safe. However, this has somehow been translated into right/wrong thinking. In this video, Aya explores different kinds of judgments and examples of each.

So many conversations get stuck when there are differences in opinions. Most people tend to try to convince the other person or withdraw from the conversation entirely. In this clip, Yoram discusses how you can go behind the opinions in order to see the needs of the human being.

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience, no matter what is going on externally. The moment you imply wrongness on others, you give power to them. In this excerpt, Aya Caspi shows that the more self-responsibility you take, the more freedom you will have.  

There is more to the NVC skill of Observation than the external level of what a video camera sees or hears. In this video, Roxy Manning demonstrates that to fully understand what is happening, we need to know all three layers of observation: External, Internal, and Systemic. 

Yoram shares about the importance of honesty (what is actually going on in you) and the dilemma of honesty (should I say it or should I not). Watch Yoram demonstrate the difference between expressing our honest judgments (I will be really honest with you, you are...) and expressing radical authenticity (describing our own authenticity). Peeling back the layers of authenticity leads to a message of care for self or for another.

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs.

When you experience an emotion, your body send a message to your brain that lights up the amygdala. Then what? Listen as Sarah Peyton demonstrates the NVC practice of Naming the Feeling and Need, which calms the amygdala and enables you to move into relational space.