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By Miki Kashtan, February 3, 2011 2:45 PM

Friday, March 4th, 2011, 4:30-6:30PM at the First Congregational Church of Oakland

Register

Would you like to become a resource in your community?

This engaging workshop is one fruit of Miki Kashtan’s commitment to transforming the ways we interact with each other and the larger world. People at all skill levels can dive deeply into the world of possibilities that open up with a practice of empathic presence in our communities. This workshop is designed to support you in the following areas:

* capacity to stay present in challenging situations
* ability to reflect your understanding regardless of content
* competence in checking for understanding of deeper meaning of what is shared
* willingness to listen empathically, without trying to solve problems

This workshop is highly interactive and includes exercises using situations volunteered by class participants as material for learning.  Repeated attendance is encouraged, as learning and insights arise freshly each time.
What past participants have said about this workshop:

“For once a seminar leader didn’t try to cram in too much stuff, but instead really committed to her material and ‘let it breathe.’ Very effective!”
~ Floyd Smith

“Miki Kashtan’s class reintroduced me to the value of silence as part of deep listening. The most profound moment came when my partner and I looked into each other’s faces without saying a word. It was both uncomfortable and transformative, and the experience is still with me. I believe this is a vital skill to take into any kind of community building setting, where many people are more focused on giving their opinions than deeply listening to other participants.”
~ Judy Pope

Miki Kashtan, certified NVC trainer, is a founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication and the North America Leadership Program. Miki consults private and public sector organizations, leads NVC workshops and retreats, and facilitates conferences around the world. . She also hosts a monthly call-in television show, The Conflict Hotline, which is viewable through http://bit.ly/conflict-hotline. She holds a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of California at Berkeley. You can read her writings at baynvc.blogspot.com.
10-minute video interview of Miki Kashtan discussing empathy.

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By John Kinyon, August 2, 2010 9:53 PM

NVC Mediation Year Long Program Promotional Call 7/1/10

Increase your skills to:

~    Return to presence and connection in the intensity of conflict

~    Facilitate people in conflict hearing each other and connecting

~    Translate judgments into a language of compassion with greater

ease and naturalness

~    Contribute to personal healing/growth for others, and yourself

~    Support people working together to get everyone’s needs met

Mediate multiple dimensions of conflict:

~      Gain powerful skills for helping people resolve conflicts

~      Successfully mediate conflicts in your own life

~      Create peace between warring voices in your own head

~      Lend your skills informally in conflict situations

~      Apply mediation skills to conflict coaching and groups

About the program

At the heart of our program is the conviction that one’s ability to be with conflict and intervene effectively involves learnable skills; and that when applied holistically a person can produce connection and compassionate resolution both internally and externally, formally and informally. The program is a learning community in which you develop the capacity for centeredness and presence in the midst of conflict and the skills to mediate from a language of compassion. Our goal by the end of the program is that you experience confidence and effectiveness responding to all aspects of conflict – within yourself, between yourself and others, and helping others who are in conflict.

The mediation process is based in the language, skills and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg. The program provides an intensive, in-depth experience mediating all types of conflict situations:

• personal and family relationships
• community
• business/organizational

Emphasis is placed on seeing the relationship with conflict as a life practice of returning to presence (i.e. mindful awareness) and mediating from self-connection and clarity of requesting what we’d like to contribute to self and others.

The Immersion Program includes:

• three 5-day intensive residential retreats over a roughly 9 month period
• weekly telephone dyad and triad practice with fellow participants
• individual self-connection and skill-building practices
• monthly joint teleconference sessions over an 11 month period (includes 2 months after the 3^rd retreat to support extension and integration of the training into life goals)

Cost and registration

• Recommended prior NVC experience: A foundations of NVC class/workshop *
• Location: Calistoga, N. California
• Residential Retreat Cost: $600-875 per retreat, depending on type of accommodations you choose
• Request for Tuition/Financial Support for Facilitators and Organizers: $800-1,500 for the Oct. retreat and $2,400-5000 for the year Immersion Program
• For more information on the Oct retreat and Immersion Program:  goto nvcmediation.com or Email nvcmediation@johnkinyon.com or call John Kinyon @ 510-222-5574
• Next promotional telecall with Ike and John will be on Aug 30th at 6:00pm Pacific. To tune in please email johnkinyon@gmail.com for more information or go to nvcmediation.com .

* To get NVC training before the first retreat, let us know and we may be able to arrange training for you.

What is NVC mediation?

This approach focuses on facilitating understanding and connection that leads to the emergence of new possibilities and solutions. NVC mediation supports each side feeling heard to their satisfaction, both in understanding each other’s particular experience and connecting at a universal level of human needs. The process moves from thinking that creates conflict to language that reconnects people to their natural compassion – the enjoyment of contributing to one another’s well being and working together to find mutually beneficial solutions.

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By Mary Mackenzie, July 22, 2010 8:41 AM

This morning I went to the club to swim laps.  I had forgotten my swim suit a couple of days ago and so I asked the desk clerk to look in the lost and found for it.  It wasn’t there and so I said out loud (much to my disappointment), “I can’t believe someone stole my swim suit!”  I went back to the locker room so see if it was there and then went back to the clerk and said, “Is there anyplace else you can check?  I just can’t believe someone would steal my swimsuit.”  He checked a few other places and determined it wasn’t there.

Not having other workout clothes, I couldn’t think of anything else I could do for a workout so I hopped into the Jacuzzi.  While sitting in the Jacuzzi, I started to notice my thinking which went something like this, “I can’t believe someone stole my swimsuit.”  “I’ve been coming here for years and nothing has ever been stolen.”  “I’ve lived in Flagstaff for 20 years and nothing has ever been stolen.” “This used to be such a safe place to live.”

After about 5 minutes I woke up.  Sat straight up in the Jacuzzi and said out loud (fortunately, no one else was around), “Mary, what do you actually know?”  I answered, “That I left my swim suit here on Tuesday and Thursday it wasn’t here.”

I said this to myself a couple of times until I calmed down.  Then, I felt embarrassed of what I had said to the desk clerk and my thoughts in the next several minutes, so I gave myself empathy for wanting to be more conscious, to live without blame, to Live in the Observation.  Deep breath.

To me, Living in the Observation, is a spiritual, moment-to-moment practice.  It requires me to WAKE UP, notice what I’m thinking or saying, and bring myself right back to the observation.  In doing this, I don’t allow myself to linger in the suffering I cause by what I make up about a situation.  In this case, what I made up was that someone stole my swim suit, that Flagstaff wasn’t a safe place anymore, and that my club wasn’t a safe place anymore.  All of those thoughts caused me suffering – self-induced suffering.  When I can bring myself back to what I know “I left my suit at the club on Tuesday and it wasn’t there on Thursday,” I can pull myself out of suffering and relax.

I don’t know what happened to my suit.  Maybe it was stolen.  Maybe it was ruined (because I left it in the sauna to dry) and so someone threw it away, maybe something else.  The point is I don’t actually know what happened to it, so imagining what might have happened to it only causes suffering.  I prefer to Live in the Observation so I can enjoy my life experience more.

Okay, so here’s a bit of gratitude.  The time span from the time I walked into the club and when I woke up in the Jacuzzi was approximately 10 minutes.  I used to live entire years in self-induced suffering.  I am incredibly grateful that I WAKE UP much more quickly now.

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By Mary Mackenzie, June 1, 2010 12:41 PM

I’m in Hawaii for three weeks offering a variety of trainings.  Nearly every day I express my gratitude that I get to do work that I love so much, in a place that is so beautiful to me, and to work with people whom I love.  Ahhh.

There have been many moments that I have thought, “remember this for the blog, Mary,” but have been distracted by all the beauty and joy and snorkeling and hiking with friends.  So, this morning, I will write about one thing and I hope to write again tomorrow.

I was in the second day of a 4-day retreat and I noticed that I felt uncomfortable with one of the participants and my inner chatter was saying, “He’s not satisfied with the workshop” and “He’s smirking” and “I actually have no idea what’s going on with him!”  I became aware of my jackal howling at the lunch break.

Does your jackal howl in your ear for a while before you notice her?  Sometimes, mine howls for a while before I become aware of her.  I believe this is because it is so familiar to have judgmental or critical thoughts.  NVC is teaching me how to become more aware of my jackal inner voice and to respond to her much more quickly, rather than be complacent in my judgments. Continue reading 'Committing to Connection, not Judgment'»

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By Sylvia Haskvitz, April 16, 2010 10:42 AM

A Telephone Course with Trainers Sylvia Haskvitz and Raj Gill

Find peace through awareness and insight even when dealing with difficult situations!

3 consecutive Tuesdays, April 27 – May 11, 2010, 12:00 Noon – 2:00 PM PDT

This course is designed to draw our attention to choices even when we face challenges beyond our control. Take this course and learn practical skills to:

• Translate judgments of yourself and others into an awareness of Needs
• Focus inwardly to experience the moments of physical and emotional Feelings
• Take an inner-witness stance, cultivating mindfulness of the present moment experience
• Be present to your experience with care and tenderness, experiencing the preciousness of your unmet needs without judging and blaming
• Develop an awareness of your thinking versus your feeling; your judging versus your observing

More Information and Registration