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March 2023

Unexpected Sweetness

Dear friend,

It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia. 

Then, a lady sits down next to me and starts talking… A LOT. 

Have I ever mentioned that I lean toward introversion? That means that I rejuvenate best when I am alone and when under stress, I do better with little or no talking. I am literally horrified that she is talking so much to me. My eyes continue to droop and try to close for a little rest. 

I am certain that the level of tiredness I feel will prevent me from asking her to stop in a way that shows compassion or care, so I start to pray soundlessly instead: “Please help this lady to stop talking to me or help me find a way to enjoy her stories and her. Please help me find compassion and care and to know her beautiful being.” Sigh. I really so much prefer it when I am resourced enough to receive people well, and to ask for what I want, but sometimes I just do not have it. Sometimes, asking for what I want is not the best approach. Do you know what I mean? 

There is a lot about this woman that could be easy to dismiss: Her dress, her use of the English language, her verbose stories, and the fact that she is drinking a large cup of punch and eating onion rings at 5:30 a.m. 

If I had chosen to do that, though, I would have missed out on getting to know a fascinating person! A person who, as it turns out, shares with me a devotion to Spirit, trusting one’s intuition through challenging life experiences, staying emotionally attuned even when life is really painful so we “don’t go numb” as she put it, and so much more. 

She was called to her husband before Kim was ready for me and I missed her when she left. I wish we had exchanged names and I also acknowledge that our connection was perfect as it was. Now, I have time to write this letter and to integrate the sweetness she brought into my life. We found out later, from one of the nurses, that her husband’s surgery went really well, and also that she had sent well wishes to Kim and me, too. 

I am grateful for this lady. Grateful for our connection. Grateful for her reminder to “not go numb” to our feelings. 

What about you? Where do you go numb to your feelings? Is there a particular place in your being that calls for Life? Consider giving a little love and attention to that inner call or simply sidle up to someone and start joyfully chatting! 

Here is to unexpected sweetness entering your life… 

CEO, NVC Academy
CNVC Certified Trainer

p.s. Did you know that March 8 is International Women’s Day? Consider doing one simple thing on that day to honor the women in your life and YOU if you identify as female.

Facilitate NVC groups with Joy and Confidence with Mary Mackenzie

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How do you deal with triggers as a facilitator?
Mary Mackenzie

When a participant disagrees, corrects you, or offers a suggestion for improvement, how do you respond? As a facilitator, you need to make decisions in the moment of what you will choose to respond to and what you choose to let go of. In this video, Mary offers her insight into how she chooses to respond in these situations.
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Want to level up your facilitation skills even more? Join Mary Mackenzie in her popular program, Facilitate NVC Groups with Joy and Confidence, starting on March 16th!

Talking About Racism

Talking about race can be extremely challenging. Thankfully, the practice of NVC— and self empathy, in particular— can lead to more connected conversations. 

In a recent Instagram Live, we interviewed Morris H. Ervin, Jr. about this. Watch the replay video to understand what skills and capacities can help you handle these conversations with more skill.
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Explore these topics further in Morris’s upcoming course, Bringing Self-Empathy Into Conversations Around Race, Racism, Power and Privilege, starting on March 6th!
Would you like a little dose of inspiration in your inbox every week? The Weekly Reflections newsletter offers excerpts from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living. If you value heartfelt connection, inner reflection, and empathy, you will love these uplifting weekly insights!

Weekly Reflections

Would you like a little dose of inspiration in your inbox every week? The Weekly Reflections newsletter offers excerpts from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living. If you value heartfelt connection, inner reflection, and empathy, you will love these uplifting weekly insights!


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Courses beginning in March

Empathetically guessing feelings and needs of others goes deeper than just paraphrasing or mirroring. I can choose to hear my own or someone else's heart speaking when the jackal voice is coming from me or at me.
-Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD.
Morris Ervin Bringing Self-Empathy Into Conversations Around Race, Racism, Power and Privilege
Morris H. Ervin, Jr

Mondays, March 6-13, 2023 (two sessions)
4:00-6:00pm Pacific (California) Time
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Mary Mackenzie Facilitate NVC Groups with Joy and Confidence
Mary Mackenzie

Thursdays, March 16-May 18, 2023 (ten sessions)
12:00-2:00pm Pacific (California) Time
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How To Deal With Ourselves When We Are Less Than Perfect

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How To Deal With Ourselves When We Are Less Than Perfect
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How you treat yourself when you fall short of your own ideals, desires, and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of your life. Discover how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy.
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