CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan offers 3 steps we can take to access and express our deepest authentic expression.
Building trust involves each person taking responsibility for what they want by identifying their needs, and making specific and doable requests that open a negotiation. Identify in what contexts you already have trust, what you want to be able to trust, and how you may be blocking or cultivating that trust. Making requests for specific actions of what to do differently can also help.
In moments where we would like to see change, personal growth or spiritual transformation, rather than immediately acting to make a change, Robert suggests we practice unconditional self-acceptance through a spacious presence to our inner experience. Robert asks us to give our attention and spacious awareness to our own judgments, inner contractions, and other experiences we often regard as undesirable.
From Obedience and Shame to Freedom and Belonging: Transforming Patriarchal Paradigms of Child-Rearing in the Age of Global Warming
What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?
Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach harmony.
When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.