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How To Know If Someone Has Been Heard

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 05/14/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
05/14/2022

Trainer Tip: People tend to look, act, and sound softer when they have been more fully heard. If you're unsure whether someone has been heard and you want to be cautious, you may ask them, “Is there anything else you’d like me to hear?”. If you try to reason with or educate them before they're heard, they'll likely respond negatively. After they're heard, you may notice a willingness on their part to listen and proceed.


About Guilt and How Apologizing Falls Short

Audio • 8 minutes • 05/13/2009
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
8 minutes
05/13/2009

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she examines the nature of guilt and how apologizing often fails to connect us to our needs.


Secure Differentiation

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 1/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
1/2019

Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.


No Sacrifices, Please

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 09/15/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
09/15/2005

Trainer Tip: Mary explains why success isn't dependent upon another person's pain, by reaching for consensus instead of self-sacrifice.


Resolving Conflict in Congregations

Audio • 10 minutes • 02/11/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
10 minutes
02/11/2012

LoraKim explores what gets in the way of seeing the inherent worth and dignity of others when there is conflict in congregations. The strategies LoraKim offers can be applied to any spiritual community.


Past Stories, Present Feelings

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Circa 2007

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."


Dissolving Enemy Images

Audio • 34 minutes • 08/16/2014
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
34 minutes
08/16/2014

Francois shares the benefits of living in the Blame Free State, the state of the heart that has no enemies. Dissolve your enemy images.


Learning From Our Regrets

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 05/28/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
05/28/2022

Trainer Tip: When have you responded in a way you didn’t want? How could you have handled that situation differently? What would have better met your needs? Try not to judge your behavior, but learn from it. Each time we review our actions, we can learn something, become more adept at new skills, and come closer to our ideal. We can do this with the learning curve of practicing translating people’s words into feelings and needs.


Mourning and Celebration: Two Sides of Gratitude

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 11/2018
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
11/2018

Mourning, grief and celebration is a way to connect with what we love and want to honor.  In this trainer tip we learn that these three things can become a way for us to understand our emotions regarding our losses and appreciations.


Intimacy With Fear

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 05/2014
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes
05/2014

If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.


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