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Understanding And Recognizing Enmeshment

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 03/16/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
03/16/2022

Enmeshment refers to confusion about who is responsible for what. This lack of clear boundaries results in attempts to manage the other person's experience as a substitute for managing your own. When you think you're contributing to another person, but you're actually acting from enmeshment, there's inner tension and contraction. Read on for 16 common signs of enmeshment so that you can know when to pause and connect to your needs.


Empathy vs. Sympathy

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.


Empathy Buddy Guidelines

Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 1/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes
1/2010

Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.


Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 08/08/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
08/08/2005

Trainer Tip: Mary shares an experience about accepting responsibility for her actions and how that lead her to greater choice and freedom.


Needs Consciousness

Video • 1 hour, 35 minutes • 06/22/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Video
1 hour, 35 minutes
06/22/2019

Jim and Jori discuss the root of Nonviolent Communication, needs consciousness. Participate in guided processes to deepen your own needs consciousness.


Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Article • 2-3 minutes • 11/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes
11/2019

Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.


Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 2/2015
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
2/2015

A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the receiver's goals, passions and dreams -- and expands their potential.


Developing Patience

Audio • 53 minutes • 11/03//2010
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
53 minutes
11/03//2010

Jim and Jori offer practical tools to help us develop patience through a process they call WAIT: Wake up, Accept, Insight, Take a step.


How to Handle Being Judged

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Circa 2007

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."


Two Basics That Support Conflict Resolution

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 02/19/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
02/19/2022

Connecting with self and other is key to care and creativity. Before dialogue connect with your intention and needs for being with grief, fear or pain, and empathy. Dialogue when you're both rested, fed, and have spaciousness. Start by expressing care and desire to find mutually satisfying solutions. To deepen connection you may repeat what you hear and ask the other person to do the same.


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