Browse the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: You may find yourself assessing the relationship with someone just based on how they feel. Check in with yourself: How do you feel and what needs of yours are met when you spend time with someone? Consider whether this relationship is working for you. If it isn’t, be specific about which of your needs are unmet. Notice if you can do anything to help meet them.

Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?

Untethering from dominant culture and internalized oppression takes releasing attachments and persistence inspite upheavals -- all with insufficient support. Even in community building we can bring oppression into our efforts to untether. The more we walk towards vision, the more tethers of patriarchy we undo, the more the cost. By exacting such high cost, patriarchal societies reproduce and sustain themselves. To untether we need fortitude.

How many times do we fall into the same hole, hit the same wall, get entangled into the same patterns? There seem to be hidden forces within us that keep unconsciously leading us, again and again, into the same melody of our lives. In this session, we will try to see our life-journey as a whole and rehabilitate our capacity to be in this existence of ours more directly and fully.

Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.

Trainer Tip: Mary explains the NVC principle known as the "protective use of force."

Often, people don't help others when others are in danger, whether it is a parent who is abusing a child, a man who is battering his wife, someone sexually harassing another, a bully making fun of someone, or a person who is abusing a pet. However, intervening can save lives. And bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world.

Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Eric Bowers in journeying through the world of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) as he expands on the theories and tools from his book Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success. You'll discover why IPNB and NVC complement each other so well, especially in the powerful practice of Somatic-Based Resonant Empathy.

Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.