Grieving reminds us of the preciousness of life, it helps us integrate loss, and it opens us to deeper compassion, inspiration, and joy. We need to create space in our lives to grieve fully.

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.

Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.

Reflect on a time when you were either expressing gossip or participating passively. What feelings and needs were up for you at the time? How might you have interrupted the gossip with connection? When interrupting gossip it can take a few rounds of empathy and honest expression to bridge understanding, and create a space in which mutual care and curiosity arises. Read on for an example.

Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

Join Susan Skye in this hour-long audio recording to learn how to experience the NVC consciousness as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs."  This recording includes a supportive learning exercise and tips for expressing needs in a non-mechanical way.

"Over the years, I have noticed that people -- including trainers and facilitators --     use the words of the NVC process without full connection to life energy, often resulting in a failure to get to a full connection with actual life energy of these qualities that we have named "needs." This results in a mechanical communication model, rather than a true empathic connection. Join me in learning how to share NVC as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs."
—Susan Skye

Trainer Tip: Tap into feelings, needs and requests for greater self connection with the six steps in this worksheet.

Listen to Miki Kashtan explain the importance of intention in developing our skill at creating solutions that work for everyone. Neither fighting nor giving up are qualities of nonviolence, but rather a fierce determination to hold the needs of all parties may arise.