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When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 12/02/2021
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
12/02/2021

Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.


Resolving Conflict in Congregations

Audio • 10 minutes • 02/11/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
10 minutes
02/11/2012

LoraKim explores what gets in the way of seeing the inherent worth and dignity of others when there is conflict in congregations. The strategies LoraKim offers can be applied to any spiritual community.


Receiving Appreciation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.


Silent Empathy

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 11/16/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
11/16/2005

Trainer Tip: Silent empathy can be a powerful way of contributing to someone's life, giving them the gift of our presence.


NVC Life Hacks 33: Mediation in an informal setting

Video • 13 minutes • 12/8/22
Beginner Skill Level
Video
13 minutes
12/8/22

Mediation is a great skill to have whether it's for your personal relationships or in the workplace. We look at four different techniques and their benefits in a role-play that takes place in an informal, unorganised setting.


Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005

Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.


Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 11/25/2022
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
11/25/2022

Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.


Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Article • 2-3 minutes • 11/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes
11/2019

Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.


Finding Freedom In Marriage

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 9/19/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
9/19/2022

Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?


The Book of Love: Bringing You Closer to Your Lover

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Circa 2007

Trainer Tip: Could you tell me something I do that meets your need for love?


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