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Tips for the Road Series: Tip 24. Shine a Light on Your Shadow: Projection Detection and Reclaiming Disowned Parts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016

How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are projecting.


Don’t Assume You Know What Other People Need

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 05/05/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
05/05/2022

Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.


To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate - How to Connect With What Matters

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 8/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8 - 12 minutes
8/2021

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.


Things We Know and Forget

Learning Tool • 3 - 5 minutes • 7/5/2022
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 - 5 minutes
7/5/2022

Here's a list of 13 essential reminders to help you examine how you think, listen and communicate both internally with yourself and outwardly with others while also reminding you to hold within your awareness important basic truths about what it means to be human and to relate.


Signs of Healthy Differentiation With Empathy

Article • 4- 6 minutes • 08/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
4- 6 minutes
08/2020

If you ask for or give empathy and are met with accusations of codependency, there are a number of things you can do to check that you are coming from a place of healthy differentiation. You can see if you're doing so from a place of healthy differentiation -- and notice signs of healthy differentiation when you offer empathy. You can also bring a profound respect for differences, and clear boundaries. Read on for more.


Timing of a request

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.


We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.


Living Without Enemies

Audio • 1 hour, 18 minutes • 11/11/2009
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 18 minutes
11/11/2009

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores enemy images to increase your capacity to embrace life more fully. Free yourself from the “us-them” paradigm and experience true compassion for the people whose actions most trouble you.


Finding Systemic Solutions to Systemic Problems

Article • 23 - 34 minutes • 07/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
23 - 34 minutes
07/2020

Society gives us short-sighted explanations about human nature, life and what’s (un)changeable. The coronavirus pandemic is disrupting that explanation. Our current social order upholds impoverishment, police brutality, and is leading us towards our extinction. Change begins with people mobilizing resources towards a vision that holds systemic care for all, plus engages shared risk and collective action towards that vision.


Leadership within Your Workplace (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 06/12/2015
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
4 - 6 hours
06/12/2015

Most of us believe we are powerless at work – even if we’re the one “in charge.” This course offers you the opportunity to learn how to consciously change this mindset, and have a positive impact on workplace culture and attitudes along the way. Most of us believe we are powerless at work – even if we’re the one “in charge.” This course offers you the opportunity to learn how to consciously change this mindset, and have a positive impact on workplace culture and attitudes along the way.


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