To keep our life energy moving and growing we can find the resources to welcome and accompany various parts of ourselves with compassion and love -- as though these parts are very young children.  And even if these parts contain difficult emotions...

Disappointment emerges when there is a gap between what we want, expect or hope for, and what is happening. When this occurs it can be tempting to make someone or the situation wrong. Instead, rather than pushing against the flow of life we can rejoin it, non-judgmentally notice our observations and feelings. Plus we can nurture acceptance and mourning. We can also remember that what's happening isn't permanent.

While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.

The NVC Circle of Life is a mandala illustrating the process and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication. Mandala literally means "sacred circle" and symbolizes wholeness, balance and harmony.

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

Trainer Tip: Do you ever think you’re taking life just a little too seriously? Many of us work hard trying to improve our outlook, our ability to communicate, and our lives. Sometimes we work so hard, we forget to enjoy life. So let’s make a pact to enjoy our day.

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.

Trainer Tip: Practicing NVC in situations that are not emotionally charged can give you valuable practice to help you maintain a compassionate consciousness when circumstances are charged. It can help you stay in that consciousness for a longer period of time. You can also practice by naming the needs that you got met in the situations you enjoy.

• Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”