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Cultivating Gratitude

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 1/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
1/2020

Here's a five-step 30 day practice to cultivate gratitude, using the practice of observations, needs, feelings, presence, vitality, awareness of contribution, sharing power and interdependence.


Breaking Free of "If Only You Were Different, They Would Change"

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 9/21/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
9/21/2022

Because we affect one another it can be hard to know where to take responsibility and where to leave it with the other person. This means we need self empathy, and presence for another's struggles without compulsion to "make them happy" or bring them healthy change. You can then attend to the needs and to your choice about if and how you want to contribute with compassion. Respect them as autonomously in charge of their unique process of change. With this, you honor your life and theirs. And where, what, and how you will invest your precious life energy.


Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

Article • 1 - 2 minutes • 12/2016
All Skill Levels
Article
1 - 2 minutes
12/2016

Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.


The Power of Silent Empathy

Article • 1 page • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Article
1 page
Circa 2007

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.


Understanding Arguments Against NVC

Practice Exercise • 3 - 5 minutes • 07/13/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
07/13/2022

Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they think, feel, or need.


Being Open to Feeling

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 06/04/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
06/04/2005

Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.


Keep It Real, Warts and All

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 05/30/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
05/30/2022

Our craving for love, acceptance, and approval can lead us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. Once I accept myself, being authentic is easier. And then people in my life can love me for who I really am, warts and all.


Distinguishing Response from Reaction

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes • 10/15/2020
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes
10/15/2020

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between response and reaction.


Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 05/14/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
05/14/2022

Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.


Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?


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