Can the Social Order Be Transformed Through Personal Practice? The Case of Nonviolent Communication - Part 1 of 2
By focusing on NVC process and practice without factoring in the interdependent, systemic dimension we unwittingly diminish the power of NVC. We reinforce the dominant paradigm, rather than challenging it -- making NVC one more tool for compliance. NVC principles can turn against its own purpose in cruel ways. NVC could also empower social change. We'll need our attention on this matter if we are to contribute to transforming the oppression we face and our collective march towards extinction.
Sometimes the empathy you offer may stimulate disconnect or a sense of boundary crossing for the other person. To identify what might have contributed to the disconnect you can look for the signs, the level of attunement and the context, and examine what's happening in you. Read on for more.
Jori and Jim Manske offer a process they call "The Zero Step," encompassing the characteristics of warmth toward self and other, care for the vitality of both yourself and other(s), wonder/interest, vulnerability and empathy, which leads directly to connection requests and an openness to outcome.
In this upbeat video, CNVC Certified Trainers Kelly Bryson, Christine King and Jean Morrison enact two role plays that involve a triggered adult interacting with a young student and a teacher who has just witnessed an unpleasant interaction between two students.
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.
Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.
When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree. Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves? Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.
If you are tired of feeling dissatisfied, frustrated and hopeless about experiencing ease and joy in your intimate relationships, this course is for you! Please join CNVC Certified Trainer and long-time relationship expert, Kelly Bryson, in this course to rethink and relive your perception of love so you can actually feel love, let love in and be love.
Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.