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Nothing but the Facts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: There's often a large gap between what we experience, and the story we make up about it. Noticing how our judgments and assumptions cloud our observations can be critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness.


Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

Practice Exercise • n/a • 09/2016
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
n/a
09/2016

 One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.


How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

Article • 6 - 10 minutes • 12/18/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 10 minutes
12/18/2018

For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved into harsh argument?


Self-Righteous Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 08/31/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
08/31/2005

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed that some of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel.


The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Advanced Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Circa 2007

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"


Naturalizing NVC Language Series: You Sound Like a Therapist!

Video • 6 minutes • 06/07/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
6 minutes
06/07/2011

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how using OFNR or "Classic NVC" is for practice, not real life situations.


Being Open to Feeling

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 06/04/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
06/04/2005

Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.


Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?


The Freedom of Committing to a Path

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 02/03/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
02/03/2012

In June, 1996, I had an epiphany. In a motel room in Indiana, the night before returning home from a solo camping trip in Michigan and Canada, I discovered how much I had lost in my life because of so fiercely protecting myself. Up until that day, bringing forth my vulnerable self was to be avoided at all costs, which kept me numb much of the time, disconnected from myself and from much of life. Alone in my room, I cried, I talked out loud, and I finally exclaimed to myself that I wanted to reclaim every last bit of my vulnerability, just like I had it as a child.


Navigating Individual Requests That Divert From Your Group's Purpose

Video • 9 minutes • 05/05/2016
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
9 minutes
05/05/2016

Mary illustrates how we can get diverted from our group's purpose by the needs of a single indvidual in the group, especially requests for prolonged empathy. Listen to Mary reframe these scenarios and offer three helpful tips for handling these situations.


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