Browse the NVC Library

Developing interpersonal relationship skills in congregations is integral to working with the conflicts that arise. These skills can be applied to any spiritual community.

When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not finding it.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan shares how Marshall Rosenberg helped her see how unacknowledged fear can be misinterpreted as aggression and offers an elegant and simple strategy for changing this dynamic.

With a world in crisis, steeped in incomprehensible violence, how do we then live? What, if anything, could turn this around? If we're all dying, let us die loving everyone, including ourselves and our former enemies. Let us come together behind wanting everyone to be free. Let us align means with ends as we envision a world that, against all odds, moves towards working for all of life. Let us dedicate our lives to service, to courage, to speaking truth, and to love.

The way we talk to one another, and think about or react to our lives, may seem "normal" but eventually, this may reach a point where we realize something isn't working, and we make adjustments. But often the suffering continues if we aren't addressing root causes. In studying NVC we can become more aware of what we are doing and its effects -- plus imagine and implement alternatives that lead to greater fulfillment for self and others.

Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on.

Want to expand your needs vocabulary, and build your capacity to identify needs — even when you’ve been triggered? Check out Mary’s powerful teaching on Self-Empathy.

Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.

Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.