Trainer Tip: Using NVC as a tool to transform our judgments can revolutionize our perceptions and relationships. Trainer Tip The only difference between the beauty of one person and the beauty of another is the concept of beauty that people have. —Don Miguel Ruiz Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with your judgments of self and others? Once when I was driving, I noticed a woman walking down the street. Without being aware at first, I thought, “Well, that’s a particularly ugly outfit she’s wearing.” A few minutes later, I caught myself thinking, “Who would drive a car like that?” I started to get a glimpse into how fast and unrelenting my judgments of others were. I vowed to myself that I was going to relieve myself of this pattern. I asked God to help me be aware of my judgments in the moment. Then whenever I caught myself judging, either aloud or silently, I immediately translated it. When I caught myself thinking, “Well, that’s a particularly ugly outfit,” I would translate it into, “When I see orange and red together, I feel annoyed because it doesn’t meet my need for beauty.” Later, I started shortening it to “Orange and red don’t meet my need for beauty.” In this way, I am acknowledging my own feelings and needs without judging or blaming someone else. Learning to do this took time, but after a while I began to notice that I was less judgmental, which allowed more room for compassion. Notice how many judgments you have of yourself and other people today and begin translating those judgments into your feelings and needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.