Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"? Trainer Tip "Think for yourself and let others enjoy the right to do the same" —Voltaire Punitive use of force takes place when we punish people because we deem their behavior to be bad or wrong and the only way to change their behavior is to make them ashamed about doing it or feel afraid of doing it again. This consciousness arises from the belief that people do things that are dangerous to themselves or others because they are bad. It also assumes that we are in a position to determine what is good and what is bad, and that we have the power to enforce our views of this. For instance, if you refuse to make dinner to punish your spouse for being late, you are operating in a punitive use of force model, punishing someone for perceived bad behavior. If you take the kids out to dinner without her because they are hungry, free of any judgment about your spouse’s lateness, you are operating in a protective use of force model because you focus on supporting your children, not punishing your wife. This consciousness serves life without judgment and blame. Be aware today of when you are using force in a punitive way. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.