Trainer Tip: Mary offers a perspective on how to know if our need for honesty is being met. Trainer Tip . . . truth could never be wholly contained in words.All of us know it: At the same moment the mouth isspeaking one thing, the heart is saying another . . .—Catherine Marshall I can’t begin to tell you how many times I hear people accuse others of being dishonest. The search for the truth can keep people in pain for years. I used to think that I was being honest if I didn’t say something untruthful, but I could decide to withhold some of the truth. Later, I began to think that withholding the truth was dishonest.Honesty is in the eye of the beholder. My needs for honesty are met when I can look people in the eye and speak my truth, or when I decide that speaking my truth will be more harmful than withholding it.If I find myself ducking behind a display at the grocery store to avoid addressing an unresolved issue with someone, my need for honesty has not been met. If I am worried that two people might get together and compare notes about something I have said, I have not met my need for honesty.Each one of us decides whether we are living in ways that meet our need for honesty. And we each decide whether someone else’s actions meet it. Try not to spend so much time seeking the truth. Instead focus more attention on whether your need for honesty has been met. When it is, you can live more freely. Be aware today of whether you are meeting your need for honesty. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.