Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction. Trainer Tip It seems obvious to me right now that rhetoric and blaming don’t solve anything.—D.W., prison inmate Sometimes, it just seems easier for us to blame others for our choices. We think that if we place the blame on someone else, we won’t look as bad. Our primary motivation may be the desire to be accepted and valued; however, it’s an awkward strategy to meet those needs. If we don’t take responsibility for our actions, others no longer trust us. We all have choices. You may think that you have to follow the rules at work. You don’t; you choose to follow the rules. You can choose to quit, or confront the system, or rebel. Because none of these choices feels satisfying, you might choose to follow the rules to meet your needs for ease, financial security, or your position in the company. Ultimately, though, it’s your choice. Once we begin taking responsibility for our choices, we empower ourselves, regain others’ trust, and enhance our ability to maintain satisfying relationships. Be aware of the times when you don’t take responsibility for your choices, then notice the choices you have. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.