Trainer Tip: When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself. Trainer Tip When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself. One way I do this is by finding my deepest need in regards to the conflict and then asking myself a question: What am I doing or not doing in my life that is not fulfilling this need? What I often find is that I am not fulfilling or attending to the needs that I want others to fulfill. When I shift my own actions and behaviours to better attend to my needs, sometimes my conflicts resolve without any dialogue between me and the others involved. Other times shifting my own behaviours and also dialoguing with the others involved seems to work best to resolve the situation.I can’t always see how the challenging behaviours of others are mirrors for me, but I can often find a reflection in how I am not attending to the needs that I experience others not meeting for me with their challenging behaviours.