Trainer Tip: Anger is a prominent call to gain our attention. Mary explains why it's worth heeding that call. Trainer Tip Could we all just admit when we’re crabby? —Sark I used to be afraid of my anger because I didn’t know how to express it, and I had an underlying fear that once I opened the lid on it, I would overwhelm myself and the people in my life. Consequently, I rarely allowed myself to examine my anger. I have come to appreciate it because it tells me when something is up. In a sense, it serves as a beacon. When something stimulates pain in us, our anger beacon lights up, whether we want it to or not, and warns us that we have an unmet need. What if your spouse has filled the garage with old stuff until there is limited space remaining for your cars? You may have felt a little annoyed when she started this process, and as time went on, you became more angry about it, but you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. Then, one day, her old typewriter appears in the garage and somehow that just tips you over the edge. What if you had simply checked in with yourself and noticed how you were feeling when the first box appeared in the garage? Had you addressed your feelings then, you would have been in a better position to resolve the situation with more ease and you wouldn’t have suffered annoyance for several weeks or months. By acknowledging our feelings immediately, we can deal with them before we react in ways we may regret later. Try to notice the point at which you first feel angry. Then take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and unmet needs associated with the situation that sparked your anger before you respond to the other person. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.