New and Recently Updated NVC Learning Resources

Increasing diversity in NVC circles

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 9 - 13 minutes

Want to increase diversity, plus improve group dynamics and group functioning? There are things you can do to make NVC settings more welcoming to people of color. Learn more about how to use NVC; attend to impact; help the community understand and demonstrate more awareness; factor in historical context; engage; create a more inclusive climate; and more!

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Practicing Non-Reactivity

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.
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Mediating Conflicts

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.
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Inner Conflicts and Agreements with Yourself

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
There are three things you can do to sort inner conflict and make doable, sustainable agreements with yourself. This capacity can build trust with yourself to follow through, and to develop diverse and creative solutions -- thereby increasing confidence and ease.
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Creating an Internal Secure Base

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.
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Receiving Appreciation With Grace

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: If we're deflecting an appreciation or letting it expand our ego, we're missing a chance to truly connect to what's important. A more satisfying way to receive appreciation is to connect to how we've contributed to another person’s life, rather than our own.
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When You Are Being "Talked At"

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.
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Punitive Use of Force

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?
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Using an Anchor in Self Empathy

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. It calms and helps you engage presence for greater access to your skills. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn more about how to develop your anchor in self-empathy.
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Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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