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In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

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Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

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To shift reactivity by moving yourself from the position of experiencer to observer, name what’s happening. This can help you access other skills for managing reactivity. Also, create a strong emotional anchor.

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Learning Tool

30 - 60 minutes

5/20/2019

Use these cards in your practice group or NVC training to understand 4 different ways of responding to hard to hear messages. Become aware of the way you habitually respond to stimulus and develop skills to respond with empathy and express honestly.

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When a relationship has both differentiation and bonding you can express differences and unmet needs, and responsibly do your own thing without it being a threat to the bond with another. You honor each others choices. There's trust rather than a sense of resentful obligation. Needs-based negotiation is easier. See if you tend to emphasize only differentiation or bonding in your relationships. Imagine how to support the opposite.

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Mediation is a great skill to have whether it's for your personal relationships or in the workplace. We look at four different techniques and their benefits in a role-play that takes place in an informal, unorganised setting.

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Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.

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Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward.  She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).

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This is an opportunity to explore/transform a limiting belief you have about yourself using what science is discovering about neurobiology. A limiting belief is simply an idea or thought we have about ourselves/life that we or others have affirmed over and over again – these ideas usually get in the way of living life fully.

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Learning Tool

1 - 2 minutes

1/2010

This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).

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