Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

Confronting with Care: An Approach that Builds Trust

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 7 - 10 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 7 - 10 minutes
People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

Using Anger to Serve Life

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 8-12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 8-12 minutes
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Street NVC: "Street Ease" Exercise

Intermediate Skill Level • Practice Exercise • 30 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
30 minutes

Listen to CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian guide and ease you into a more natural expression of empathy. This is a three person exercise. Listen in and then give it a try!

This learning resource is free for all to enjoy until the end of March.


Trauma and Sanctuary

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

Ego, Mind, and Culture

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
The “mind” or our “ego” are often depicted as a static entity, an unchangable part of human nature, and as obstacles or negative parts of ourselves to overcome. This view creates maligning, a split within us, while remaining invisibly part and parcel of authority-based societies --the dominant culture and institutions into which we are born. Instead, I want to advocate an integration of reason and emotion, mind and heart, plus self and others.

Receiving Appreciation

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.

Help for Overwhelm

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
Reducing overwhelm requires you to reconnect with your authentic choice, be present and compassionate with what's happening, heal trauma, and interrupt the trauma response. Read on for ways that may help you reconnect with your choice, presence and more on trauma.

Getting Our Need for Love Met

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?

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