New and Recently Updated NVC Learning Resources

Asking to be Known

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 7 - 12 minutes
There are various ways to be known. Learn how to engage and make clear requests accordingly. This includes getting clear in yourself about what exactly you want known; communicating how important it is to you; sharing examples in your life of being known; requesting and negotiating from the energy of the met need; letting the other person know whether or not the relationship is really sustainable for you if the need goes unmet long-term; and checking the other person's capacity.
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Secure Differentiation

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.
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Finding Courage

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 2 - 4 minutes
Telling yourself to be a certain way or have more of a certain quality (like courage), is a set-up for self-criticism and possibly freezing or avoiding. Instead, access effective action by asking yourself questions like: "If I could be or have that, what actions would be different inside or out?" "If I could be or have that, what needs would be met and knowing those are the needs, what could I do or ask for that would meet those needs?"
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Inviting Depth in Conversation

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three major elements: attentive silence, the desire to connect and be known, and focus on present moment experience. Learn more about this way of engaging.
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Mediating Conflict Conversations with Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Audio  •  00:44 hours:minutes

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.

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Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a place of clear differentiation, boundaries, agency, care and discernment.
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Acknowledging the Impact of Identity Within Social Change Movements (Part 1 of 2)

with Mary Mackenzie and Roxanne Manning
All Skill Levels  •  Article  •  Read time: 23-35 mins

In this transcript, clinical psychologist and organizational consultant, Roxy Manning, PhD, offers ways for us to increase our capacity to (1) See things that we otherwise wouldn't; (2) Bring more relevance to our groups, organizations and social change movements; (3) Talk openly about microaggressions: statements or (in)actions that (inadvertently) minimize, diminish or negate somebody's experience.  Also, NVC Academy's cofounder, Mary Mackenzie, speaks to how NVC helps us to find ways to bridge our differences in ways that value all of us.

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Building Trust

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...
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Attending to Inner Conflict

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
When we have an inner conflict, how can we bring ourselves closer where we want to be? Miki explains about how we can deepen our self understanding in a way that can transform our own reactivity, urges, and false either/or views -- so that we can bring in more presence, choice, and options.
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Leadership Lessons from the Civil Rights Movement

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All Skill Levels  •  Article  •  Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
When we have few external resources (money, time, health connections, etc), we can still empower ourselves and one another.  We can strengthen our internal resources, inspire people to join our cause, build solidarity, and influence others who have external resources to support us and our causes.
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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