Browse the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.

When you have intrusive thoughts about yourself and feel ‘crummy,’ Ike recommends using the Chooser / Educator map as a guide to lead you out of the primitive part of your brain and back to your prefrontal cortex. Both the Chooser and the Educator want to contribute to your well being, but in different ways. This map facilitates having a positive conversation with them.

In this brief audio, Jim Manske uses a live situation to demonstrate how to use the NVC process in an apology. Jim starts by identifying the four steps to self-connection before expressing your apology.

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.

Trainer Tip: Without knowing our feelings, its harder to live fully present, take care of ourselves, and make sound decisions. If its difficult for you to know what you feel and to express your feelings, consider reviewing a list of feelings, practice expanding your feelings vocabulary, and naming your feelings.

The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?

How do you bring empathy and authenticity to uncomfortable work situations when there are so many layers of difference – especially if your primary reason for working is to feed your family and pay your bills? Listen in as Roxy opens participants' eyes to some of the many layers of difference we all deal with on a daily basis.

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

If role-play, hearing conversations modeled, and dialogue practice is how you learn, this 4-part telecourse recording is for you! Learn the art of entering into, staying in, and bowing out of “the dance” of communication, playing with your real-life situations using the four components of Nonviolent Communciation as the foundation.