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Distinguishing Response from Reaction

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between response and reaction.


Distinguishing Universal Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies.


Facilitation and Transparency

Video • 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
9 minutes

Transparency: when is it too much? Does it support connection, clarity and flow? Is being transparent supporting your needs, the group's needs, and the group's purpose for being together? Check out this thoughtful excerpt from Mary's 2020 course, Jump In Now. Good food for thought!


Facilitation and Transparency

Video (Public) • 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Video (Public)
9 minutes

Transparency: when is it too much? Does it support connection, clarity and flow? Is being transparent supporting your needs, the group's needs, and the group's purpose for being together? Check out this thoughtful excerpt from Mary's 2020 course, Jump In Now. Good food for thought!


How to Balance Differentiation and Bonding

Article • 5 -7 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 -7 minutes

When a relationship has both differentiation and bonding you can express differences and unmet needs, and responsibly do your own thing without it being a threat to the bond with another. You honor each others choices. There's trust rather than a sense of resentful obligation. Needs-based negotiation is easier. See if you tend to emphasize only differentiation or bonding in your relationships. Imagine how to support the opposite.


Responding To "Power Over" Interactions

Article • 5 - 7 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

Based on your observations of "power with" interactions choose a specific, do-able to practice so that you're prepared the next time you're in a power under/power over dynamic. Keep the practice simple to do in a difficult moment. Then reflect: identify what you did (internally or externally) or said that (de)escalated the dynamic. This practice requires noticing what went well, self compassion, perseverance, and support.


Meeting Our Need for Order

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Someone’s strategy for meeting needs may look different from yours, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t meeting them. This can happen when they appear to be messy and disorganized, but from their perspective they have it organized. It's just less apparent to you how they have organized it. Read on for a related anecdote.


Directness

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.


Keeping The Focus On Ourselves

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Next time you prepare for a challenging conversation, solidly connect with your own feelings and needs before entering into meeting. Then attend the meeting open to creating results that work for everyone. This is likely to give increase chances that the conversation will come to a mutually satisfying conclusion.


The Apology: Brussel Sprouts for the Relationship

with
Video • 1 hour, 1 minute
Beginner Skill Level
Video
1 hour, 1 minute

How do you repair a relationship when your words or actions unintentionally impact another in a negative way? And what keeps you from apologizing? Join Lore to explore – and answer – these questions and more!


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