NVC Library

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Gender Through the Lens of IPNB plus Empathy

All Skill Levels • Article • Read Time: 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read Time: 4 - 6 minutes
Our pattern-making minds make predictions about how best to survive in the world. So deep wounds from our past can influence our minds to make life long generalizations that harden into core beliefs about groups of people. Read on for a demonstration of how empathy can shift these wounds and thus the core beliefs.

Understanding Judgments

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving, fully expressed anger and love.

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

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Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2 - 3 minutes
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

Understanding and Healing from Bullying, Giving and Receiving

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

Intermediate Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Observation, the First Component of Nonviolent Communication

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.

Lonely Together

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

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