As human beings, our inherent goodness makes most of us believe in equality and yet sometimes our conviction in this same 'goodness' may make us blind to the reality of our own behavior. We are so convinced about the innocence of our intention that we seize to look at the impact of our behavior and thus our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged. Diversity, equity and inclusion work will only be of lip-service until we are willing to look at our own unconscious biases. Listen as Anisha Pandya encourages you to look at the possibility of how our self-awareness is so limited and one of the ways of expanding that awareness is by moving beyond our intention, looking at the impact of our behavior and remaining open to feedback.

The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

Empathy is a form of attunement. Empathy is giving your compassionate curiosity by guessing another’s feelings and needs. Consider how you live or relate to each of these 12 essential aspects of empathy. Some of them mention how we can offer empathy without abandoning ourselves, how empathy isn't always the best response, and how "Empathy can be offered when you disagree with another’s opinion, memory, or perspective."

Trainer Tip: "Power over" refers to using power, coercion, fear or authority to force change. It rarely brings lasting change. "Power with" refers to power that seeks to meet everyone’s needs. A "power with" system values input and needs of everyone who will be affected by decisions. When you notice you're using a power over paradigm to get results, shift focus to power with. Notice how this shift in consciousness affects results.

"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.

By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

Trainer Tip: People sometimes say, “I didn’t do NVC this week.” Or “I tried NVC when I was in an argument last week.” NVC (AKA. Compassionate Communication) is not a thing to pull out of a bag of tricks once in a while. It is a way of living -- even as we may slip up, our goal is to more often handle situations with a consciousness of valuing connection and everyone’s needs more than being right, winning or protecting ourselves.

In this intriguing audio, Jim and Jori Manske create a framework for growing your feeling awareness, and offer daily practices for working with your feelings. Listen to this audio if you’d like to expand your emotional vocabulary!