Telling yourself to be a certain way or have more of a certain quality (like courage), is a set-up for self-criticism and possibly freezing or avoiding. Instead, access effective action by asking yourself questions like: "If I could be or have that, what actions would be different inside or out?" "If I could be or have that, what needs would be met and knowing those are the needs, what could I do or ask for that would meet those needs?"

Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

Listen to this newly remastered audio with seasoned Life Coach and CNVC Certified Trainers Martha Lasley and Dian Killian, to explore how you can "be the change" in your life, to live fully in integrity with your values in your work, community, faith and social action groups.

Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent attentive connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three major elements: attentive silence, the desire to connect and be known, and focus on present moment experience. Learn more about this way of engaging.

Trainer Tip: Where do you focus most of your life? Are there areas that you could reassess? Are you happy? Engage a new paradigm shift in your life.

How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...

Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.

What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a place of clear differentiation, boundaries, agency, care and discernment.

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.