NVC Library

Defining Enough

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: If you have a goal, want to be a "success", or want to do "your best', define what that would look like, and how much. Identify one goal and one thing you can do today to achieve that goal and do it.


Life-Alienating Communication

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.


Enjoying the Jackal Show

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.


How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.


Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

Article • 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes

The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with it, as lazy or stubborn. Read on for more.


Distinguishing Life-Serving Boundaries From Requests

Article • 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes

For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.


The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article • 3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3-5 minutes

Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.


Opening to Intimacy

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.


Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

Article • 37 - 56 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
37 - 56 minutes

What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much support for the choice as possible, and while mourning not seeing another way to respond to a situation in which vital needs are at stake except to use force". Read on for more.


Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.


 
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