Marshall RosenbergIn the Spotlight:
OFNR: The Mechanics of NVC


When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

— Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

When I began learning NVC, I thought NVC was the 4-step process, Obervation, Feelings, Needs and Requests, or OFNR. Over time, I learned that NVC requires a consciousness, an intention to create a quality of connection where everyone's needs might be met. This consciousness, combined with the NVC tools, makes Nonviolent Communication a powerfully transformative process in relationship with others, and ourselves.

— Mark Schultz, NVC Academy Cofounder

Listen to this clip from Marshall Rosenberg, describing this NVC consciousness in relation to OFNR, followed by some examples of differentiating observation from evalution, the "O" of OFNR.

This month we're featuring these OFNR-related learning resources:

Reframing OFNR for the Workplace

with
Beginner Skill Level  •  Audio  •  00:07 hours:minutes

Listen in as Dian reframes the 4 steps of NVC (observations, feelings, needs, requests) into everyday words you might hear at work.

This training segment is free for all to enjoy.

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Expressing Ourselves Honestly

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Introductory Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.
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Mediating Conflict Conversations with Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request

with
Intermediate Skill Level  •  Audio  •  00:44 hours:minutes

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.

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The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 4 - 6 minutes

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...

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Naturalizing NVC Language Series: Developing Empathic Presence

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:04 hours:minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan guides a participant to find his inner empathic presence.
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Naturalizing NVC Language Series: Empathy vs. Sympathy

with
Intermediate Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:03 hours:minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan clarifies the distinction between empathy and sympathy.
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Unappreciated is NOT a Feeling

with
Beginner Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:02 hours:minutes
Unappreciated, Judged, Disrespected, Offended, Manipulated ... people use these words to describe feelings but these are all words that describe interpretations instead. They're also words that get people's backs up. Talk about unproductive! The solution? Develop a vocabulary of feelings so you can minimize defensiveness in others and facilitate connection.
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Naturalizing NVC Language Series: Can NVC Be Taught Without Using OFNR?

with
Intermediate Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:02 hours:minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains has developed a apth to teaching NVC without relying on OFNR: Principle-based Teaching.
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Naturalizing NVC Language Series: Contextualizing the NVC Process

with
Intermediate Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:04 hours:minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how NVC's OFNR process is a tool to train our consciousness, rather than the "correct" way to speak.
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Naturalizing NVC Language Series: I Don't Know Whether to Express Myself or Offer Empathy

with
Intermediate Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:05 hours:minutes
CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan discusses how focusing on connection and care can guide us in expressing honestly and offering empathy.
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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