In the Spotlight: Parenting

NVC and ParentingNVC shares two key premises with attachment parenting: Human actions are motivated by attempts to meet needs, and trusting relationships are built through attentiveness to those needs. Both premises contrast with prevailing childrearing practices and with the assumptions about human beings that underlie these practices. Instead of focusing on authority and discipline, attachment parenting and NVC provide theoretical and practical grounds for nurturing compassionate, powerful, and creative children who will have resources to contribute to a peaceful society.

Marshall Rosenberg, founder and education director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, asks parents two questions to point out the severe limitations of using power-over tactics such as reward and punishment: “What do you want the child to do?” and “What do you want the child’s reasons to be for doing so?” Do we really want our child to do something out of fear? Guilt? Shame? Obligation? Desire for reward? While helping us meet our needs without coercion, NVC also helps us resist giving in to our children’s every wish by teaching us to express our feelings, needs, and requests clearly, and to expect our needs to be considered. When we consistently express our commitment to attending to everyone’s needs–not just theirs, not just our own–we model a way of life to our children and create power with them: the power of choosing to contribute to making life more wonderful for everyone.

Listen now to part 1 of Bringing Peace to Kids in Conflict with John Kinyon and Stephanie Bachmann Mattei just below.

Plus, check out our two new parenting courses. Connected Based Parenting with Ian Peatey and Monica Reu is a self-paced parenting course with a collaborative approach rooted in awareness and presence. Parenting without Obedience: An Introduction to Intergenerational Collaboration with Miki Kashtan, Arnina Kashtan and Lisa Rothman is a live videoconference founded on the principle of creating relationship in which both your needs and those of your children are fully included.

 

Parenting Series: Listening for the Needs

Beginner Skill Level • Video • 00:15 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Video
00:15 hours:minutes
Using her own and participants' examples, Inbal illuminates parents on where they might be struggling with connecting to their children's needs, especially in situations where the children are responding to the parent's request.

Parenting Series: Needs, Strategies and Partnership

Beginner Skill Level • Video • 00:09 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Video
00:09 hours:minutes
Inbal clarifies the difference between needs and strategies, and why the distinction is important in our parenting role. She offers two questions to ask yourself if you're not certain whether something is a need or strategy.

The Basics of Partnership Parenting Using NVC (Complete Course)

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 07:29 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
07:29 hours:minutes
As parents, we often face challenging situations on a daily basis and struggle to create what we most long for. In this 6 session telecourse recording, you will learn how Nonviolent Communication can support a family culture where cooperation, trust, and peace are nurtured, and children and parents can flourish together.

Mediating Conflict with Kids

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 00:48 hours:minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
00:48 hours:minutes
In this stimulating audio recording, Stephanie Mattei covers several "hot" parenting topics such as: boundary issues, strategy resilience, how to shift your right/wrong mentality and understanding the concept of fairness. While unraveling these topics, Stephanie intersperses some practical neuroscience around brain regulation and brain-wise conflict prevention.

Connected Parenting: Making Observations

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:07 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:07 hours:minutes
In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, explores observation in contrast to interpretation, and leads an exercise in observation.

Connected Parenting: Everyone's Needs Matter

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 00:04 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
00:04 hours:minutes
In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, offers a profound insight that can change how we see and relate to our children.

Parenting from Your Heart - Q&A

Beginner Skill Level • Audio • 01:04 hours:minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
01:04 hours:minutes
Please join us as we remember the work and life of Inbal Kashtan. She offered this parenting Q&A session in NVC Academy's 2013 Parenting Conference.

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