Library Resources with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.

Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

Trainer Tip: Where do you focus most of your life? Are there areas that you could reassess? Are you happy? Engage a new paradigm shift in your life.

Trainer Tip: If you are feeling anger, you are experiencing an unmet need. When you recognize it as a warning signal, it can be a life-serving tool.

Trainer Tip: Every single time you say or do something, even when you experience pain or regret, you are trying to meet a need. Forgiveness begins when we acknowledge the needs we were trying to meet in the situation.

Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Trainer Tip: In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc., we choose different ways to meet our needs.

Trainer Tip: What does integrity mean to you? Each person has a different definition. For me, integrity means that I live in harmony with my values.

Trainer Tip: Have you heard the saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Communication is like that too. Don’t try to adjust your communication and behaviors if they already work for you.

Trainer Tip: All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind.