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CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains has developed a path to teaching NVC without relying on OFNR: Principle-based Teaching.

Listen in as Dian reframes the 4 steps of NVC (observations, feelings, needs, requests) into everyday words you might hear at work.

Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true...

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the...

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

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Learning Tool

1 - 2 minutes

This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).

John introduces his Self-Connection Exercise as a mindful way of coming to awareness via OFNR. Breath: immediately observable, a reminder to observe. Body: feeling the body, awareness of sensations. Needs: an experience of wholeness that expands awareness of the totality of experience. Listen.

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how NVC's OFNR process is a tool to train our consciousness, rather than the "correct" way to speak.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how using OFNR or "Classic NVC" is for practice, not real life situations.

In a Nonviolent Communication model, we believe that everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need. That means that all actions or words are in service to a deep internal need. The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive.

Communicating with a client or patient with a mental health diagnosis can be tough. This guidebook introduces Nonviolent Communication, helping you develop more clear, compassionate, mutual satisfaction and potentially create conditions that heal those who look to you for help. With this guide learn to notice when your approach is likely to trigger defense and how to shift that to more...

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Video

2 min 30 sec

Yvette Erasmus shares her interpretation of the difference between "faux" feelings and feelings. "Faux" feelings imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame.

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Practice Exercise

1-2 minutes

This exercise brings forth presence, awareness, and witnessing regarding what you observe. And also the inner form of experiencing: thinking, feeling, sensing, longing, and noticing any inner resistance. This exercise is designed to allow self-compassion to clear the inner space, and to help you feel it as a flow of energy, presence to the other, and bring in a more relaxed experience and more...

Listen and learn how to: Talk about NVC in a way that has meaning and relevance for companies and organizations, showing a clear ROI (return on investment). Draw on different applications of NVC for the workplace: addressing change in management, management issues / styles, morale / teamwork, employee retention, etc. Create a value-based training proposal (with different service and product...

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

This ten question exercise will help build your feelings vocabulary. It is helpful to differentiate between words that describe what we think others are doing around us, and words that describe actual feelings. These "faux feelings" often reveal more about how we think others are behaving than what we are actually feeling ourselves. Feeling words are always about us, not the other person.