NVC Library

Trainer Tips (27)

Use of “To Be” Verbs

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 1 page
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 page
Ask the Trainer: “I heard a trainer say once that the ‘to be’ verbs aren’t really needs, such as to be heard, to be understood or to be valued. Can you help me understand why not?”

Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"

How to Interrupt

with
Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 3 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Speaking Classical Giraffe

with
Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 3 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 pages
Ask the Trainer: "At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of 'formal NVC' off-putting, or mechanical. Do you have any input or insight into this?"

Four Types of Feedback

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

How to Handle Being Judged

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

Past Stories, Present Feelings

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Hidden Needs

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”

Different Types of Requests

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 pages
Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

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