Library Resources with LaShelle

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 03/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Learning Tools
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 06/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 09/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In the face of stress you can find ways to be present for what’s happening, rather than being pulled or pushed around by anxious thoughts or fearful feelings. Here are some strategies to return to and maintain expanded awareness.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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