Honor Your Need to be Heard

Beginner Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.

Setting Boundaries with Attraction

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Beginner Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.

Setting Boundaries with Reactivity

Intermediate Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 4-6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Finding Security in the Face of Fear

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 4-6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes
In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for more.

How to Set Boundaries Early and Often

Beginner Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 5-8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes
Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

How To Resource In The Expansive Perspective

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 2-3 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
In the face of stress you can find ways to be present for what’s happening, rather than being pulled or pushed around by anxious thoughts or fearful feelings. Here are some strategies to return to and maintain expanded awareness.

How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 5-8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes
As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that happens in a pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. Read on for more.

Responding to Anger

Beginner Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 5-8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

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