Meeting Our Needs

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Discovering the unmet needs is only a starting point. The other part is to understand what it will take to meet that need, and make a request that will accomplish this. This way, we can resolve situations before they escalate. Everyone benefits when we are clear about what we would like.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Clarifying Our Needs

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Choosing Whom We Empathize With

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: One of the basic philosophies of Nonviolent Communication is valuing everyone’s needs equally. That means that you consider your needs to be equal to another person’s needs. If someone asks you for empathy, and you choose to empathize at you own expense, you're not living in a Nonviolent Communication consciousness. Be aware of your own needs today when someone asks you to be their emotional support.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Meeting Our Need for Sexual Expression

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Needs Analysis—an Activity to Uncover Your Strategies

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Find your deepest need. Then notice when you do things, or have done things, that keep you from meeting your most important need. And then take conscious action that is in alignment with the need you want to meet.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

The Power of Being Heard

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Perceiving Reality

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we try to make another person fit into a reality that we prefer in order to meet our own needs everyone suffers. Instead, bring your focus back to yourself. Notice which of your needs are met or unmet when you spend time with someone. Don’t judge them; just focus on your feelings and needs. Then, decide whether continuing the relationship will meet them
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Doing Something Different

Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In

Expressing Ourselves Honestly

Introductory Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.
A Library subscription is required for full access. Library members:  Sign In
Page 1 of 13
Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
NVC Booksdance floors 300x30