Library Resources with boundaries

In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
  • Production Date 03/2012
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 09/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 8-12 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a list of questions to help you focus on how to do that.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 1/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a place of clear differentiation, boundaries, agency, care and discernment.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Production Date 9/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
  • Production Date 01/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
 
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