Library Resources with boundaries

For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Advanced Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When someone offers continual unsoliticed feedback or advice, setting a boundary may not be easy if you care about how they might hear you. And if you don't set a boundary, you may eventually become resentful and say something you regret. Instead, here are six ways to respond, with varying degrees of effectiveness.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 6-9 minutes
  • Production Date 1/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Applied NVC
  • Duration Read time: 7-11 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
  • Production Date 03/2012
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 09/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite curiosity and celebration. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5-8 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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