Library Resources with conflict

The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with it, as lazy or stubborn. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 07/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
The pandemic asks us to examine the way we have always done things. It asks to try something new and notice what happens. This is an opportunity to ask why you have done holidays in a certain way and what needs it met to do it that way. Perhaps it is an opportunity to experiment and see what new things might arise. Read on for questions to ask yourself that might help you process your triggers, "should's", feelings, needs and dilemmas.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Trainer Tip: Here are some options for tense moments in conversations: try a "redo", understand and recognize your habits, pause to regroup, empathize with the person so they feel heard, check your mind frame before speaking, and name some appreciations about one another.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2 - 3 minutes
  • Production Date 4/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2013
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
  • Production Date 03/2012
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 6
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer tip: If you are in a relationship (whether personal or work related) that you are not happy with, consider talking to the other person in an effort to connect about both your needs. Talking about it doesn’t guarantee that you will like the resolution, but not talking about it guarantees continued unhappiness. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
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