Live NVC Courses: conflict resolution

What don't we know about ourselves? Our unconscious contracts impact us, our shadow selves, and our relationships. In this snippet, Sarah uses her own unconscious contract to demonstrate navigating through reactions to today’s political environment. Listen.

Listen in as Sarah explores five common ways of bringing yourself back into balance after an emotional experience, and how an awareness of the difference between self-management and self-regulation can ease the process.

When blaming, we tend to function from the position of lone hero / self-critical witness. Listen in as Sarah works with a participant facing her judgements about others not caring for the planet.

Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?

Building trust involves each person taking responsibility for what they want by identifying their needs, and making specific and doable requests that open a negotiation. Identify in what contexts you already have trust, what you want to be able to trust, and how you may be blocking or cultivating that trust. Making requests for specific actions of what to do differently can also help.

Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Trainer Tip: Ready to start a fight because you're right? Consider another strategy.

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?

Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.