Library Resources with criticism

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without getting caught in defensiveness or reactivity.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Production Date 09/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When asking for respect it helps to first get clear about your interpretations of other's behavior. You can do this by asking about the other's intentions before believing your thoughts. You can also make a clear request for what specifically you want to see happen instead. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Production Date 07/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Misunderstandings can be painful. We can easily avoid this by checking what the other person understood from what we said, and ask the other person to do the same. Doing this is especially important when it comes to planning, shared decision-making, and when emotions are strong. Also, the more someone knows you, the more they think they already know what you mean -- which can get in the way of really hearing you. Here are a variety of ways to approach this simple strategy.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 8/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
  • Production Date 5/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 3
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read Time: 3 - 5 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2018
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read Time: 10 - 15 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2018
  • Premium Members n/a
  • Points 5
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
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