The Nuts and Bolts of Not Taking Things Personally

Intermediate Skill Level •  Article •  Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.

Meeting Our Need for Sexual Expression

Beginner Skill Level •  Trainer Tip •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

Overcoming Defensiveness

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.

Learning How to Listen

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read Time: 3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read Time: 3 - 5 minutes
Listening is a cornerstone of dialogue and a powerful metaphor for spiritual practice. When we’re willing and able to listen, we open a conduit that allows connection and understanding to happen.

An Invitation to Resonance: The Practice of Nonviolent Communication

Intermediate Skill Level •  Article •  Read Time: 10 - 15 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 10 - 15 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.


Don't Take It Personally

All Skill Levels •  Article •  Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.

What Makes NVC Hard?

Intermediate Skill Level •  Article •  3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...


 
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