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"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

When supporting someone with less privilege, first check with them how you can support. If you're reacting more strongly to their undesirable experience than they are, this then shifts the dynamic so that they're setting aside what they want to attend to your feelings and needs - this may become work that they didn't sign up for. Read on for what to do instead to support more equity.

In treating everyone the same, we perpetuate inequities. If we want NVC consciousness to spread globally, it's crucial to acknowledge how various demographics are have varying capacities, and are differentially perceived, treated and impacted. Modifying our NVC teachings can increase equity and reduce the frequent judgement, disbelief, denial, insistence, non-resonance and re-marginalization...

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Article

5 - 8 minutes

What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening...

In a workshop, a hesitant white neurodivergent man faced a triggering reaction from a Global Majority transgender man. Uncovering their backgrounds, the facilitator addressed family dynamics and exclusion. A repair exercise fostered empathy, challenging assumptions and emphasizing the importance of equitable facilitation for a richer group experience.

When a person of color (A.K.A. a person from the Global Majority, or GM) tells a marginalization story that triggers a defensive response from a white participant in a group, to foster awareness and healing, leaders can address the white person's distress with empathy, highlighting the common dynamic of prioritizing white pain. From there, leaders can offer GM participants opportunity to share...

Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to mess up. Part of working to undo racism is having the humility to know when our own understanding is limited. Read on for more this, and how it...

The pandemic has unsettled deep patterns of consumption. There’s a fear, and with it comes the mindset that is the heart of rampant consumption; habits which are essential to the market economy’s “economic recovery”. High consumption is also the most direct cause of environmental degradation. What do we need in order to significantly reduce consumption for our greater resilience and freedom,...

The existing unequal risks and impacts people of certain race, class and identities face in society is magnified in these strenuous times -- especially with things such as illness, financial well being, discrimination, attacks, and death. As responsive NVC practitioners we can stand in solidarity with those who are differentially impacted. Read on for this, and additional ways to spot common...

Amidst racial violence, there are things that NVC can offer. And there are places where NVC culture needs to be more vigilant. Here are examples of where, amidst incredible loss and pain, "allies" and communities commonly (and often unknowingly) create false equivalences, minimization and re-injure those who've been historically marginalized -- even when they offer empathy, or aim to stay...

How much money to pay? And how much money to ask for? The supply and demand logic basically say that we ask for the most that “the market can absorb” and pay “the least that we can get away with.” We can instead, we can engage in experiments that focus on connecting to and satisfying needs. We can also engage with our varying degrees of access to resources within the existing economy and...

Our world trains us to think in terms of providing for everyone’s needs because they deserve it, earned it, or they possess the resources -- it's fair, socially just, supports equality or because people have rights. Instead, can we step outside this worldview to look at providing for everyone’s needs because those needs exist -- can we hold this basic reverence for life? Are we able to have a...

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Article

12 - 18 minutes

When someone's in immense pain and uses words that are hard to hear, see if you can bring in as much attention and compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much on how it was said. This may support greater understanding and healing. Otherwise, we risk prioritizing needs, norms, and inequities of the dominant culture, over...

The more we can support an interdependent flow of resources and energy in society and the economy, the greater we can increase both natural abundance and the chances of averting extinction. Accumulation is a strategy born of mistrust. It’s an attempt to control the flow of life to guarantee that we will have enough for the future. Accumulation and exchange has blocked this interdependent flow....

In learning how to re-invent the economic system so that it distributes resources in a way that includes as many people's needs as possible, we would need to be in a process of mutual influence with one another. However, addressing resource distribution can be complex when people in different social locations have 1.)a different sense of what's considered "enough" 2.) different capacities to...

As human beings, our inherent goodness makes most of us believe in equality and yet sometimes our conviction in this same 'goodness' may make us blind to the reality of our own behavior. We are so convinced about the innocence of our intention that we seize to look at the impact of our behavior and thus our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged. Diversity, equity and inclusion...

Working on social justice and racial equity? If you include attending to white culture and privilege as part of that work, you'll reap important benefits. Understanding white culture — along with its embedded historical privileges — provides valuable insight into a larger system of inequity.

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Article

12-18 minutes

The notion of "micro-aggressions" may be levied by those in the dominant class - for example white folks may talk about receiving micro-aggressions when a (legitimately) angry BIPOC references them as "white". This shuts down the conversation and feeds a myth that everyone's pain about race is equal. It doesn't foster dialogue that moves us towards a more equitable, compassionate world. Read on...

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

When avoidance coping or positive thinking sidesteps challenges, internal and external injustice and unrest also rises as we sidestep our values and integrity. It leaves us in sadness and distress. What's unacknowledged impacts ourselves and others undesirably. To live nonviolently we need to be in touch with what's real. With resonance we can more likely be with what's true, and trust our...