Trainer Tip: To reduce defensiveness and hurt feelings when talking to your partner about your sexual needs that haven't been met, keep the conversation focused on your needs, not her lack of skill, and make a very specific request. From there, you can both explore any shared needs, blocks, or support needed to bring you both closer to your needs.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 05/2010
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 7 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

This 5-session telecourse recording is designed to support you in learning what makes giving and receiving feedback challenging and how you can turn these experiences into opportunities for learning, connection, and effective functioning.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy:

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 8 - 11 hours
  • Production Date 02/08/2011
  • Premium Members n/a
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Audio
Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 10/2005
  • Duration Read time: 1-2 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening our perspective to bring in greater care and awareness.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 08/2018
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Points 4
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 04/2018
  • Duration Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
  • Premium Members n/a
  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Points 10
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 01/2016
  • Duration 1 page
  • Premium Members Premium Members
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

Additional Info

  • Date Written/Produced 01/2016
  • Duration 1 page
  • Premium Members Premium Members
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
How can you ask for feedback without checking your authenticity at the workplace door? CNVC Certified Trainer Jeff Brown explains that connection requests can help by attending to the quality of your relationship before the content of your request.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 00:05 hours:minutes
  • Production Date 05/19/2016
  • Premium Members Premium Members
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Video
Join CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian to find out how to speak up in a way that ensures you're heard, even in challenging situations.

Additional Info

  • Production Date 01/2016
  • Completion Time 3 Hours
  • Access Sign Up
  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Points 12
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Multimedia
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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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