Flash Sale! 50% Off Select Course Recordings

Sale Ends
  • 5

    Days

  • 8

    Hrs

  • 48

    Mins

Search the library
Search the Library


/media/k2/users/174.jpg

Article

3 - 5 minutes

How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...

What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy...

Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We...

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...

/media/k2/users/46.jpg

Article

7 - 11 minutes

When does identifying our or others' needs become a coping mechanism that hides the real problems that go unaddressed, and thereby reinforcing problems? This article zooms out to take a look at how dealing with our needs in the absence of the larger picture can inadvertertly support unhealthy ways of operating, rather than become a healthy solution. It asks us to see what could be hidden --...

Our craving for love, acceptance, and approval can lead us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. Once I accept myself, being authentic is easier. And then people in my life can love me for who I really am, warts and all.

"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan helps a man whose ex-spouse reacted strongly to his attempt at empathizing with her. Miki shows us how it’s possible to hide behind our empathic expression, creating less rather than more connection. She suggests instead that we be vulnerably authentic.

In this inspiring audio, Kelly discusses the true value of transparency and "truth." He defines truth as the whole truth, including our inner experience; this could also be called self transparency.

How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

/media/k2/users/31.jpg

Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Next time someone asks how you're doing, you can check in with yourself and offer an honest answer. It doesn't need to be 15-minute response. You could say, "I’m feeling tired and overwhelmed by this project. I’m sure it'll work out. I’m just worried about it now. How are you?” If you're ready to do that, then you can be honest with yourself. Doing this can help you be present to...

/media/k2/users/2.jpg

Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Avoiding conflict is an even greater issue than having conflict. Not being as competent at conflict we avoid it. And in many cases that creates more conflict. Conflict is inevitable because we have different perspectives. Conflict is not bad. It is an opportunity for increased connection, intimacy, joy, and creative win-win solutions. Instead of avoiding conflict, we can work on increasing our...

Grieving reminds us of the preciousness of life, it helps us integrate loss, and it opens us to deeper compassion, inspiration, and joy. We need to create space in our lives to grieve fully.

Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for...

/media/k2/users/31.jpg

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and...

/media/k2/users/31.jpg

Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Most of us have been conditioned to withhold the expression of our feelings to some degree. Mary offers a tip to de-stigmatize our feelings and relax into our humanness.

/media/k2/users/31.jpg

Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Accepting our true feelings, needs and values can lead us to a more compassionate life. Are you being true to yourself?

What is a good baby? If you have been raised in a Western culture, chances are you know the answer right away (whether or not you agree with it). A good baby is one that doesn't cry! The training against vulnerability starts very early in life.

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"